Tips for “The Talk”
Having hard conversations with parents about retirement and aging can be difficult, but here are some helpful tips to make the process a little easier:
Start the conversation early: It's important to start the conversation about retirement and aging early, ideally before it becomes an urgent issue. This can give everyone time to adjust and make plans for the future. Both you and your loved ones need time to process the emotions that come with getting older, so don’t wait.
Be prepared: Prepare for the conversation by gathering information about retirement options and aging in place, as well as any concerns or questions you may have. We all feel better when we’re prepared for hard conversations.
Focus on goals: When discussing retirement and aging, focus on goals rather than specific solutions. For example, ask your parents about their goals for retirement and aging, and discuss how those goals can be achieved. Goals are positive because they help trigger new behaviors and help guide your focus in a positive way.
Listen actively: Listen actively to your parents' concerns and feelings, and avoid interrupting or dismissing them. Try to understand where they're coming from and show empathy for their perspective. Their thoughts and feelings are valid as are yours. Remember that you are both experiencing the same thing, but in different ways.
Be respectful: Be respectful of your parents' decisions and opinions, even if you don't agree with them. Avoid placing blame or making accusations, and instead focus on finding common ground.
Offer support: Let your parents know that you're there to support them and help them find solutions. Offer specific ways that you can help, such as assisting with financial planning or connecting them with our team.
Seek outside help if necessary: If the conversation becomes too difficult or you're not making progress, consider seeking outside help from a counselor, mediator, or other professional. They can provide an objective perspective and help facilitate the conversation.
Remember, having hard conversations with parents about retirement and aging can be emotional and challenging, but they're an important part of planning for the future. By following these tips, you can help ensure that the conversation is productive and respectful.